Protection

 Spiritual protection grows from living with the awareness of inner light and Spirit.

I know this for myself, and I wish to be living witness of this for others.

I see myself and all beings, surrounded and held with unconditional compassionate love of spirit, and each other.

We can know this and hold this, regardless of outward appearances and  circumstances.

Spiritual Strength comes to us through grace, as a gift, and when we can't find it for ourselves,

the hearts of all the way showers and teachers, are available to us to borrow until we can.

I see divine spirit weaving us all together in a comforting and healing garment of Light.

I see all the merit of all the goodness of our lives reviving the world we pray for, for ourselves and our children.

That all beings may be happy.

That all beings may be peaceful and know ease of being.

That all beings may be safe, and protected from all harm.

That all beings may be well in body, mind and spirit.

And that all beings may come to know a perfect end of suffering and be free.

My heart is open, and I pray yours is too.

Please ask if you need me, and that will make it easier for me to do the same.

Comments and Questions always welcomed.

Star Light Star Bright light

 I am a star, you are a star, we are all stars, shining our divine lights as only each of us can, together creating illuminated sky. 

Each of us has our own gifts  and abilities to express as only we can. Each of us has the opportunity to uniquely be living witness to the goodness, grace and unconditional love of God(dess) to all.

This is the truth for you, and me and every being on earth. All included.

Each of us is a light creating together our shared luminous life.

Light upon light creates more light than either can do alone, no light obscuring another, all adding to the amazing unlimited light available to all.

Please, pray with me as we all shine on.

Church of the Creek

 I went to worship today at the church of the creek.

We've had a lot of rain so the messages shared were loud and clear.

A small child came and sat by me, quietly for a while.

They got up, collected a pile of rocks and made the offering to the creek.

They offered me some, and I did the same.

We sat quietly, smiling at each other for awhile.

They said, "We like this creek." waved and walked to rejoin their family.

A refreshing service and deep sermon.

I'm grateful to be a member.

Moment of enlightenment

I got a bit disheartened today. People wanting to talk about how they could push the guidance to stay home and stay safe. Why not, if its not "illegal ".

Why am I so happy and safe, when there is so much suffering.

Moment of enlightenment-code word moment- my ability to be happy, is not just for me. 

It is to be shared with anyone who can't find it for themselves right now.

Practicing love, compassion, kindness, joy and equanimity, when it is easy, is to make it so, when it is hard.

As the busyness and outward layers are taken way, I see what is really important to me remains. 

Love, compassion, kindness, joy, and being that, to and for myself and others. 

As if there even is an other- there is no other- only us.

Which brings me to the gratitude of the day.

I am still teachable!!!

My spiritual director, when I whine about being unpartnered, says, 

"living alone is a gift". 

I say "I want to return it" And now I know it was practice for these times. 

Hugs do not exist in linear time. 

Every hug I've ever shared is still here for me when I need it.

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.

How remarkable that i have everything I need and more, I am able to be myself, and do what I can- which is enough, no matter what is going on out there.

This is the privilege I bear and carry and share for the benefit of all beings.

I thought about Jesus losing it in the garden- Father, please take this cup from me.

On the cross- why have you forsaken me.

Faith can falter- no judgment, and someone who's faith has not, will be there to carry me through.

That's the other thing my SD says.

"Look at the history"

I got disheartened, angry, and I took a moment to go behind those emotions to the energy behind them, and had a good heart to heart with some trees.

All we really need, they reminded me, is love, and light, clean water and air, and love in our family.

There are lots of ancestors and descendants out there wanting to help and guide us.

The world I see is me- pushed out! and I can dream the world I want into being.

My prayer:

Do good

Avoid evil

Embrace my own lunacy

Pray for help.

Please join me.

Permission/persistence. Resilience/Retreat. Love/Faith

I take on a lot, and each night , I give thanks for the skills and faith given to me, I give thanks for all the merit of this day serving all beings.
I say prayers for loving kindness, forgiveness, strength, intersession for all kinds of things.
And I pray to let go of it all, as it is time for me to sleep, sleep well, as tomorrow is another day.
I want to say, I did all I can do, now it's your's god.

This is my Faith. Knowing, fully knowing and believing in the goodness, love, kindness and compassion that is unseen, unmeasurable, exalted, and  abundant.
I'm dependent on building resilience for this.

Outward signs are not so good. Cultural  norms are oppressive, abusive and worse.
The practice is to remain fully present to what is, even as evil is cast around me, and address what is, with love, kindness and compassion - to myself and others- no matter what..

I've been though a  5 year period of good times and bad, since my last extended silent retreat, and through grace, practice and prayer I have built up my resilient zone to take on almost anything- for myself and others- abuse, abandonment, neglect, violence of all kinds, and still function fully, sustainablely, and with love and compassion for all.
The combination of resilience and faith has enabled me to do more than I ever thought possible, for myself and others.

The past few months I have had to be honest with myself that this is no longer the case.
My resilient zone is shrinking.
I am tired, burnt out, angry.
Time for retreat.

My change platitude:
Change can come about by falling in love, or chaos. I find falling in love preferable.
And right now, love is not enough for me without faith.
Faith can encompass love, hate, disbelief, darkness, evil, terror, isolation and lead you to a place where you can lead in love, and at least hold the space for that to happen.

Time for retreat.
Time to hang out- just me and god, until I feel ready to go back into the world with the same ease that  I feel when I am in prayer and meditation.

Persistence with shrinking resilience will lead to resistance which will lead to suffering.
I give myself permission to persist into retreat, to relax, renew, be open to the possibility of renaming my relationship in oneness with all beings, myself and the earth.

My five years of advocacy and accompaniment of women and children experiencing violence, abuse, abandonment and neglect, I  see the toll this takes on the soul, self worth and esteem.
Abuse can progress to where those experiencing abuse need permission to exist.
People can need the welcome that can enlarge their world beyond the visible outer circumstances.
They need the welcome that can widen the walls around their suffering and lead them to paths of safety and wholeness.
They need physically and spiritually to be saved from suffocation.
I have been and want to continue to be a part of this welcome, and right now I cannot.

Words cannot express the gratitude I feel to be able to arrange this for myself before I am harmed or harm someone else, from my own, fear, attachments and aversion.

Time for retreat.
I will take these vows;
I will observe noble silence.
I will do nothing that clouds the mind.
I will take only what is freely given.

My intention for the retreat is to be fully present.

I'm smiling as I type as my spiritual director reminds me
"Once you have planning the retreat, the retreat has begun."
I have a week or so of tidying up affairs, letting folks know I will not be responding to emails, texts phone, etc, and a brief time of relaxation just for fun.

Please hold me in the Light.

Comments and Questions Welcomed

Spirit, resilience, remembering and refuge

Spent a long day practicing resilience within a  faith community I belong to.
I felt and noticed emotions all over the map.
For ecological sensitivity I put myself in a car with 3 others I thought I didn't want to be with, with wise council from my spiritual friend who advised- just take a nap.

The Mountains were too lovely for that-and what happened was they sent me right back to school.
I don't or won't remember much, as I was so unhappy in school-a caged bird.
Most vividly I remember sitting as still as I could- not as still as they wanted me to, and staring alternately  out the window and at the hands of the clock ticking the minutes away.
My day dreams were so deep, when they called me I not only didn't know what the answer to the question was, I wasn't even sure where I was.
For these few house, I was taught by the trees. The lessons of the forest.

I did not feel called to be with the small group normalizing abusive behaviors and bullshit in the name of various isms.
 I am grateful to have been of service to The Spirit and the small group doing spirit led work, affirming how the spirit twas working among us, with us, using our skills to create movement in all directions for our community.
This time was easy, joyful and fruitful. The agenda was long and it went quickly. We held each other and were held.

Being called into the other room, after about 30 words, I went to find refuge in what I knew to be true.
The Holy spirit, the Great Mother, that which is whole and Holy one.
 My spiritual friend had sent me a text I looked at frequently.
"Stay close to the Holy spirit as if your life depended on it🔥"

People were demanding, people were talking a lot, people were saying they were experts and professionals.

Again I found my self back in school. I can't remember their names, and I was seeing some faces-faces with looks of disappointment in me, that I didn't or wouldn't do the work they wanted me to do, and also encouragement that I was capable of it, and even beyond.
Even tho I didn't do what they were required to demand of me, some of those teachers didn't give up on me. Never gave me a failing grade.

I went to this gathering thinking(code word) it would help me make a decision if I should leave it or stay. It has appeared that is not the question.

I bless my intellect and give thanks for all the insights it provides and I am fine with the limits of intellectual understanding.

All that is good, all that is fair, all that is equitable comes form spiritual discernment.
Part of prayer is letting God be God in me.
Awaiting
Allowing
Attending the wisdom that comes and trusting and accepting that wisdom.

I'm not entering the suffering's Olympics!

I'm gonna keep on hanging out with the spirit, practicing and enlarging my resilient zone, remembering and making peace with that, knowing refuge is there whenever I need it
and doing what I am called to do when I am called to do.

I am going to be a true radical- from the roots- and in full knowledge of what is, I am going to be happy.

Who is going with me? I'll keep curious  and open about that.

Voting, Outcomes and Rest

To all my friends working so hard:

Yes, voting is important tomorrow. Community must be visible to itself and responsible to itself.
You did your best , all you could do, working for the outcome you desire.

And, Tomorrow is another working day.
We vote everyday with our being and our voices.
We can do no other as we see what is, and know what we want to be.
That we are bound together with the desire to see the world become a place in which our children can run free and strong.

We all want to be Happy, Peaceful, Safe, Well and Free.
We crave equanimity and fun.

Attachment to outcomes leads to suffering.
What ever happens, take a rest, and be ready.

No one event changes everything.
Nothing is ever quite finished, and there is always the next thing.

My prayer is the work of our head, hands, and heart leads us, to be  the people, who create the community we want to live in, for ourselves, all beings and our universe.

I thank you all.
No matter the outcome.
Tomorrow and the day after, we still need to be strong, to speak out and up, to accompany, to support, to educate, to advocate, to learn, to play,

and Rest.
We need to rest.
and Laugh Out Loud.

Be ready.

You have done enough for today.

Let go, rest and greet tomorrow's outcomes with curiosity and joy, that we have another day to create and play with each other.
And go out and love some more!

"The real radical is a person who has a vision and is willing to do those things that will bring reality closer to that vision" Bayard Rustin

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed unless it is faced"

 James Baldwin