silent rant

I'm tired of talking about silence. I don't want to go to a workshop and talk about facilitating silent retreats. i don't want to talk about who's fault it is that we stabbed our mother in her heart and can't heal the wound as she bleeds to death.

I'm praying for equanimity of spirit and a cheerful heart in the midst of sadness.
Thank you trees for speaking to me in the language of compassion and comfort.

We are not powerless. We are powerful. Sending Love to our Ocean multiple times daily can shift the balance of destruction that is happening.

We don't have to know how......we just have to recognize that the power of love is greater than any power active in the Universe today.

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness,
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."

~ Mary Oliver ~

Crocus Mind

Shout out to the Woman's Circle Bible Study of the Montreat PCUSA Church for their welcome, support and inspirational peer study groups.

Thanks to Mary Collins for sharing this prayer

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It Takes Courage To Be Crocus-Minded

It takes courage to be crocus-minded.

Lord, I’d rather wait until June

like wise roses,

when the hazards of winter are safely behind,

and I’m expected,

and everything’s ready for roses.

But crocuses?

Highly irregular!

Knifing up through hard frozen ground and snow,

Sticking their necks out because they believe in Spring

and have something personal

and emphatic to say about it.

Lord, I am, by nature, rose-minded,

even when I have studied the situation here

and know that there are wrong things that need righting,

affirmations that need stating,

and I know also that speaking

out may offend –

for it rocks the boat.

Well…I’d rather wait until June,

Maybe later things will work themselves out,

and we won’t have to make an issue of it.

Lord, forgive.

Wrongs don’t work themselves out.

Injustices and inequities and hurts don’t just dissolve.

Somebody has to stick her neck out,

somebody who cares enough to think through

hard ground because she believes

and has something personal

and emphatic to say about it.

Me, Lord?

Crocus-minded?

Could it be that there are things that need to be said,

and you want me to say them?

I pray for courage.

From Bless This Mess and Other Prayers by Jo Carr and Imogene Sorley.

Copyright ©1969 by Abington Press.

Going Home

One thing I ask of the Lord,
that I will seek after:
to live in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the Lord,
and to inquire in his temple. psalm 27 v.4 NRSV

I heard a story this morning.(I'm leaving out quotes)
Jesus asked Peter to follow him, and peter said, where? I'm not telling you, just follow me. Peter asked, why won't you tell me. If I tell you you might not go.
and peter asked what will we do there, and Jesus said follow me. Peter said, why won't you tell me what we will do there? and Jesus said, you might not want to do it.
and Jesus said, follow me, and Peter said, who will be there, will my friends be there? and Jesus said, maybe not.
so Peter said, you want me to follow you where I maybe don't want to go and do things i might not want to do with people I might not like? what should I bring?
and Jesus said, Bring yourself, follow me.

This church is very welcoming to me. In kindly voices they ask me to meet with them about becoming a member. I say let's just meet, and they smile.

I belong to the church I can walk to. The church ,that the only thing I need to bring ,is myself.
The church of what's happening now. The church of the living Christ and present moment. The church of the moment.

Thank you God for being present in my life, for the homeward invitation and all who walk along with me and the gift of silence to reflect in all this goodness.

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home
With a Bobolink for a Chorister
And an Orchard, for a Dome

Some keep the Sabbath in Surplice
I just wear my Wings
And instead of tolling the Bell, for Church,
Our little Sexton sings.

God preaches, a noted Clergyman
And the sermon is never long,
So instead of getting to Heaven, at last
I'm going, all along.

Emily Dickinson

Pathetic, huh?

This from Rosemary Ellis, Editor in Chief of Good Housekeeping Magazine
" I spent a recent Saturday at a very improbable place: a womens's retreat. It went from 9:00am to 2:00pm- a huge chunk of the only day in the week that is unscheduled for me, I didn't really want to go;and I didn't have the time..........So I went and ironically the topic of the retreat was time- .......
And I discovered something that morning that was not on the agenda, and is a little embarrassing: It was all but impossible for me to just sit still and listen- not take notes, not check my blackberry, not multitask in any was. I realized that the only other time when I am absolutely still is...when my head hits the pillow at night. Pathetic, huh?" (April 2010, Good Housekeeping)
Couldn't have said it better myself. Sign this woman up for a weekend at Still Waters Refuge.
Please leave a comment

Laugh and the world laughs with you

"Silence is golden and it is rarely misquoted", Bob Morehouse

"I'm at a loss for words, thank goodness", Barbarajene Williams

Have something funny to share about silence? Leave a comment.

Where can I go?

I attended Friends meetings on and off most of my life. I never saw myself as a joiner. As I married and raised a family I wanted a sense of belonging for myself and my family and asked for Clearness at my local Meeting. I was clear that for me , membership must be an enlargement of who I am rather than a negation. Joining the Meeting would enfold my identity as a woman, catholic, Buddhist, jew, tree lover , magic maker, rather than name me as a Quaker.
I'm feeling the call for retreat and refuge. Where can I go? I've spent time at many retreat centers that welcome me as only one part of myself. Where can I go and be me, fully being, and supported by others and place in refuge, rest, renewal and prayer.

A dear friend may be near to death. We rarely spoke of religion or spirituality. I would call her a religious refuge. In this time of great need of comfort, where does she go? Where does her family go?

A good friend is seeking a place of refuge and retreat. She seeks a place that will nurture and guide her unique spirit, a place to listen to the One that can speak to her condition. Where can she go?

For me, right now, the answer is to put one foot in front of the other, walking meditation, and to be faithful to this journey I am on. I pray constantly for physical reality of the leading to Still Waters Refuge.
My personal desire is to find an existing place willing and open to enfolding me so that our beings will enhance each other. Members one of another, in God's holy room.
Please leave a comment if you know this place.
Please pray with me for Still Waters Refuge to come into being.
Blessings on this prayer and this place.

Firstday Message

This morning I hope I was able to share the clear message I received and chose to share silently without verbal words.
Quakerism attracted me in the 60's with its support of political and social outward activism.
May 4, 1970 ended this period of my life(another post) and I began to read George Fox's and Woolman's journals.
Listening, waiting, being in the life and the Light to take away even the occasion of war, was what I needed to hear. In my own head, my own listening to the prophetic stream.
Outwardly I was in a fearful place and thankfully that fear led me into my own mind to find quiet, clearness and refuge there.
What I began to see then and know more fully each day is that I must live my life each moment, being peace and love, regardless of apparent outward cost. The Spirit is my constant companion and the closer I can stay to her the easier it is to be in her body, Light and Way and Life.
It matters little what horrors, hate and warring is going on in the world as I ,holding on to Christ's robe, am in it (the Woolman part) and yet not of it.
There are times when what we know to be the Truth calls us to travel and speak and we must be as faithful to this call as the call to listen and wait.
There is still more stripping /falling away of outward cumbers , to come , for me.
I'm ready and willing and lighter each day, as I pray and pray and pray.
Words fail to express the joy of even knowing that I can listen and know purely through Grace.
My Lenten prayer is to be the Light and Love , in visible human form , Jesus and others call us to be and to hold out my hand and robe to any seeking the path of Truth and Light.
Resurrection is ours for the asking. Thank You God.
Present Moment, Beautiful Moment.
Each moment given to us as a gift.
Pass it on.